O is for Oh My Gosh!

OMG! Everyone is SO obsessed with the acronym! Lyk, lol, did u c dat pic of Hazz Stylz 2day? I was literally rofl, yn? Lyk, omg.
Okay, so maybe that was a little bit over the top…okay, maybe a lot. And I am, by no means, exempt from the shorthand population. I indulge in omg’s, lol’s and haha’s a bit too much. I used to use “dat” instead of “that”. But I still don’t understand the world’s obsession with it…especially when it invades on verbal communication.
The amount of times that I have heard a young person say YOLO, swag, and even YOLOswag is so much more than I can bear. At first, it’s funny. Then, very quickly for me, the term loses its appeal. And each time I hear it uttered after that I cringe internally and try to erase it from my mind as quickly as possible.
I guess what I am saying, or admitting to, is that I am getting old and I need to come to terms with it. These things, apparently, are unavoidable. How lovely.
But since this post is entitled OMG, how about we delve into all things OMG?
I would like to share with you, one of the many stories outlining just how clumsy I am. It involves my poor best friend, who I just seem to keep accidentally (I stress, accidentally) hurting in the weirdest ways (like walking her into a signpost whilst she was blindfolded and I was distracted, but that’s another story). So… we used to catch the bus to school together. That was fine. No big issue. We sat next to each other most days and we used to talk the entire time about the latest band we were into. So, when the bus, after about 40 minutes, finally pulled up to the curb outside our school we both moved to get our bags. We’re fine. All good. Then I stood up… As I stood up, my elbow took itself on a small vacation and ended up directly in her eye.
I am still so ashamed. I don’t know how it happened. It just…did. Not only that… but about 3-4 months later, it happened again! …the shame! As you can imagine, that was an OMG moment for me…among many others.
I really don’t know how my friends put up with me. The other day, I made myself a cup of tea which is a very regular occurrence. Due to my clumsy tendencies, this is probably not the smartest thing to allow me access to. And this time was not an exception. I spilt the tea all over the floor and the coffee table in the living room. I yelped as the tea flew from my mug.
As I reentered the kitchen in shame, my housemate looked at me and asked me what happened. So I told her. She said, “Ah. Story of your life.” And it is. It really is.
I don’t know if it’s possible to inherit clumsy genes, but if it is, I got them from my mother. She once went rollerblading and broke her tailbone. I think that’s proof enough.
So, what did you learn from this?
1. Shorthand in verbal conversation irritates me
2. Do not hand me anything breakable or hot or valuable (or just anything in general) to hold. I will break it.
3. If you value your health, it’s probably best to stay four feet from me at all times.
You have been warned.

The Swivel Chair
“Hey, wouldn’t it be fun if…”
It’s the beginning of so many bad ideas.
The two girls, left to the own devices in a room with a swivel chair. Of course, at the best of times, those things can be hours of amusement, especially to two girls of ten years old.
“I’m going out to get some groceries; I’ll be back soon. Be good.”
The two girls smiled at each other and nodded at the adult.
“We will, Mum,” the blonde one filled her words with sugar.
And, thus, the mother left. The girl’s smiles turned to grins.
“Hey wouldn’t it be fun if…” the blonde posed.
The brunette nodded vehemently. And they ran to the small swivel chair in the office at the back of the house.
“You go first,” the blonde tried to show her hospitality.
The brunette stepped up to her mark and flopped belly first onto the seat. Her hair hung over her face.
The little blonde girl began to spin her friend. Laughter from both parties could be heard as the poor brunette spun.
After a while, the little brunette spoke:
“I think…”
The blonde continued to laugh.
“I think…I’m gonna…”
The blonde reached up and stopped the ride simulator just in time for a face-full.
“Hey, wouldn’t it be fun if…”


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