You’re an excuse for everyone to binge on food that’s bad for you. You’re an excuse for us to stuff our faces with a year’s supply of chocolate.
When I was younger, my parents learnt very quickly that buying chocolate for me at Easter was pointless. It’s not that I didn’t like chocolate or that I was allergic or anything like that, but for some reason I just didn’t eat it.
I’ve always a been a person who hates permanence. You have to give me a very persuasive argument with multi-faceted reasoning for me to actually agree to do something that is permanent. So when someone gave me a gorgeous duck made of different coloured chocolate for Easter, I couldn’t do something as permanent as destroy it and eat it.
It sat on my bookshelf in my bedroom for at least a year, if not more, in its sealed box, before my parents had finally had enough. They took the box from my room, placed it on the kitchen table and told me that it was time. Time to open it, destroy it, eat it and say goodbye. Incidentally, it tasted awful. I guess we left it too long.
After that, they didn’t buy me chocolate for Easter. It was a pointless and unhealthy exercise, and a waste of money. Instead, they began to buy me a gift that I could appreciate a lot more (and was much more permanent than chocolate).
In saying that, my family has a lot less focus on chocolate at Easter than most. Instead of finding chocolate eggs as an indicator that the Easter Bunny had been, there were old sheets hanging on the washing line with streaks of different coloured dyes on them.
My mum’s side of the family, from German heritage, would hard boil and dye chicken eggs. They would be all different colours of the rainbow, some with Easter themed transfers put on them. I thought they were the coolest.
So, instead of finding chocolate, I’d be searching for the real thing. This worked out better for me and my permanence issues, because I don’t like hard-boiled eggs. I just gave all the eggs I got to my parents and that was that.
I’m sorry this is a little late. But I will see you on Tuesday, I promise!